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Rabbit-Man Goes Ballooning in the Swiss Alps

(Alpine Adventure #1)

"Proper, proper indeed," remarks Rabbit-Man as he supervises the inflation of his new HOT AIR BALLOON.

"I use hot air you know," explains Rabbit-Man. He holds a rope in his left paw and begins to chew on it. "With hot air I can change my altitude with relative ease." Suddenly Rabbit-Man discovers a distasteful rope in his mouth and discontinues chewing. (Force of RABBIT-HABIT!)

"Hot air . . . let me illustrate." To illustrate, Rabbit-Man finds a nearby porcupine and holds it in front of himself.

Seeing the innocence of Rabbit-Man's actions, the porcupine decides not to protest and cooperates with Rabbit-Man's HOT AIR BALLOON ILLUSTRATION.

"By dropping weights, sandbags, I can rise in altitude." Not to be caught seeming offguard or dull, the porcupine, who has not had his lunch yet, drops his lunchbox to the ground. Rabbit-Man, not to be caught offguard, at least, raises the porcupine high above his head. "Therefore, to wit, and to, so forth ah . . . I . . . ," quickly rethinking this sentence, Rabbit-Man and the author confer with one another---excerpt of their discussion:

"- for that! ... and what the heck was I supposed to be saying?" "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." "I'd better be getting paid for this!" "Cool off, you're the star, nobody's gonna - hold it . . . somebody's listening. . ." "What the-" "Dummy up . . ." (silence)

Rabbit-Man continues his eloquent narrative... "Now, if I wish to lower my balloon in altitude, I have a valve on my balloon which will release air causing my decent."

The porcupine realizes he must exhale, but as he does so, he remembers the mexican food he ate last night. So, to add to the deflationary illustration, he exhales and releases an infamous porcupine DEATH FART as Rabbit-Man lowers the pungent, spiney creature to the ground.

Rabbit-Man knows something is terribly wrong. "Escape, bunny, escape!", runs through his rabbit-sized mind. The balloon! RM dashes off and soon he is high in the sky. What he does not know is that in his haste to depart from the rank area below, he neglected to put any sandbags into his HOT AIR BALLOON!

The absent-minded bunny decides to release air from the balloon and as his decent seems perilous, he finally notices his mistake.

"Drat - I forgot the sandbags. I need to rid the balloon of at least 100 pounds and I have no sandbags. Drat! I must think my way out of this." Being that he only has a few minutes before crashing, Rabbit-Man thinking seems like an interesting exercise in certain death. . . "Oh yeah smart guy! Well, I have figured out a way to keep my balloon from crashing! You see, I weigh 100 pounds, and by jumping out of the balloon, I can float to safety."

(See what I mean?)

...and with that, Rabbit-Man leaps off the balloon and plummets towards the earth.

Go to... the next story, or to the directory of Rabbit-Man Stories.